my new chapter

either the hardest, or the happiest part of a person's life is CHANGE.
i sleep, i wake up, and i do as much as i can.
then before i know it,i'm back to my bed again, another night to get some rest.
I've learned to live the day to do much and avoid the pain that's trickling in my head.
ever since i went away to take this new world,to receive my new chapter, i struggle in this way.
each time that sick strange darkness comes creeping on unexpectedly,
i stop and go out to take a deep breath of good fresh air to ease the tightening of my chest.
the beauty that i see in the wonderful sight of nature somehow soothes me.
but, i still cant find meaning,i can find the answers to what is happening.
i know everything has a purpose.i don't doubt that. i know that God has everything in store for me. whatever happens, His will in my life will be done.
but it's just that the sadness wont go away..:(
and sometimes, most of the time, it's unbearable.
perhaps time can heal the pain.
perhaps in time, i would learn to finally take it and not feel the hurt anymore.
all i have to do is to move. i have to move along to make it through.
that's the wonder of life.
it's beautiful that nothing could ever compare to it.
you feel sadness, you feel pain, you get happy, you get complete,
you gain something, you find one thing, you lose some,
you rise, you fall. but in the end, EVERYTHING will turn out just the way it should be.
and in the end, you'll realize, you have learned everything you know through what you have surpassed in your life.
and you'll know, God wouldn't give you that burden if He doesn't know that you can carry it.
your burden shows how much He really trusts you.
now isn't that the most beautiful wonder we can ever have?

so many things..so little time

there are many dreams i wish to fulfill..
many chances i want to run after to,
many moments i prayed to last forever,
many incidents i hoped would never end..
but time kept on running,
and life has to keep up to it..
parting although painful, is a new beginning i must take.
i wish i could just hold on to what i already have,
to who i have loved and i have taken as a part of my whole being..
but in vain i'm left to realize, i am no more powerful than a small ant..
no matter how tight i hold on, if it isn't meant to happen, it just wouldn't be..
and behind bright lights of laughter and outrageousness that can cover up my emptiness,
i just have to accept the most painful step; reality.

is it evEn woNdeRfuL?

i once wondered why instead of laughing, babies cry; and why cold bodies in coffins look more peaceful than some people who are alive..
is it because these babies know that in their mother's womb, they can stay away from the pain that this world can bring? and are these bodies thankful that they can finally rest from all the hurts that they have taken?
isn't it such a wonder.

i even marveled how one's overpowering pride could defeat love's sacrifices..
why do people at times seem to make all my efforts useless?
why do we never understand what we've got till it's gone?
why do we neglect things that we should have been treasuring the most..

we worry too much on getting away from the rain that we don't realize how grateful we must have been for the quiet tree which gave us care..

i wonder why sometimes we become too dumb to show how grateful we are having the person we love the most beside us..
some even become too numb to make us feel our love for them is worth it..
it kills me to realize that we neglect people we love and need because we know that no matter what we do, they would always stay..





i have so much, too much love to give, will anyone realize our lives' worth?

sometimes, i sufFeR

it' funny everytime a little kid runs to me with teary eyes and a dirty cheek, asking for comfort just because of an unfair play with friends. i watch the small being as i hug her, sobbing as if she mourns for a broken soul. realizing the irony, i sadly smiled..
sometimes i wish i could just be like this kid, just worrying about fights with playmates and keep crying the whole day just for a bruised knee. these are nothing compared to the sadness i can feel right now.
maybe life is just like this. perhaps loneliness is a part of living..
pain is a flavor and there are instances that i have to taste it in order to learn.
maybe i just have to cry when i feel like it, and take the sad hurts when its given to me. we only get to live once so take all the chances. forgive instantly. believe every promise like a kid. love till you hurt and till your pride consumes.
time is fast and it can't be repeated. though you might appear sometimes stupid, what's important is you took the risk that makes up loving.
in the end, you can be proud that you gave your best to make your life worth it.

-Miriam Ong-Ante